YThursday, July 07, 2005
I was on my way to school today..n guess who I saw..ermm..Anna..
The gurl whom I thought was his ex gf..but turned out to be a friend..a very goood friend as a matter of fact. heh..
I saw her and I was somewhat "amazed" cuz how can't a guy like him fall for some1 so unique and well i guess attractive?
It's kinda hard to believe cuz they seem to be so close to each other...
ugh..wat the hell..but she is gorgeous tho..no..im not turning gay or anything like that but I am just kinda flabbergasted by the sight and the fact that he's with me..and not her..
A month has passed and I guess we are doin fine..
But now..upon seeing her in person..i just can't help wondering why..
I mean..i just dun feel that he desrves to be with me..
Judging by the state that i am/was in..
the fact that I am not totally into him..
the fact that i don't think he's quite "there" yet..
AND the fact that i don't think im being honest with him..
It's not that im not good enough..Its just that I don't feel we should be together..
Im only 17 goin on 18..and Im not into the kinda commitment he wans me to be in..
well..not quite..
I duno..I gez Im just getting my life kinda mixed up ryte now..
And bein in tis so-called relationship kinda scares me..
He's soo nice..and understanding and almost what I wanted..
BUT there's something missing...
Like when he gave me the blue rose(the flower i told him i fancy about a year ago)..
He left it on the passenger seat wen I was about to board the car..
It was nice..it got me "there" for awhile..u noe all 'touched and im flying' kinda stuff..
But it really just got me there for a lil while.......
Im still in love with him tho..
Im just not sure why he wans to be wit me.....
Knowing that there's a gurl whose hotter than me close 2 him..
Knowing that he'l get hurt...
Knowing that I've hurt him once...
_callous_ was here with you at
